Tasty Empanadas

1lb ground meat (I used bison… but beef, turkey, ostrich – even a quality ground tofu will work)
10oz can mild Rotel Tomato & Green Chilies
1 small onion
1 small potato
2 cups shredded cheese
Tabasco sauce
Mrs. Dash Original
1 tin premade flaky biscuits (or tortilla – see note below)
½ cup flour (not needed if going with the “fried burrito” option)
Vegetable oil (not needed if going with the empanada option)

 Additional items:

Cookie sheet (not needed for “fried burrito” option)
Rolling pin (not needed for “fried burrito” option)
Medium skillet

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 375° F.
2. Place the meat in the skillet over medium heat.  No oil if you are using meat.  If you are using ground tofu, a very, very tiny amount to keep it from sticking is useful.  But be stingy with it.
3. Add three dashes of tobacco and two dashes of Mrs. Dash.  Literally, yes, dashes.  Take the bottle and shake that many times.
4. While the meat is browning, skin and dice the onion.  Add it to the skillet with the meat.
5. Stir occasionally while skinning and finely chopping the potato.  Add this to the skillet as well.  Cover the skillet.
6. Open and drain the Rotel and add to the mixture in the skillet.  Stir and cover.  Let simmer while you prepare the biscuits.
7. Put a handful of flour on your working surface and over the rolling pin.  Pop the tin of biscuits and roll them out very flat.  Sometimes it helps to pick them up and let gravity assist you in the stretching.  You want to get them as thin as possible without them getting holes.
8. Place the rolled out biscuits on the cookie sheet to await the filling.
9. When the potatoes have cooked through and the meat is thoroughly brown, drain the mixture that is in the skillet and turn off the heat.
10. Using a large spoon, place a small amount of the filling in the middle of one of the rolled out biscuits.  Put a bit of shredded cheese on top of the filling. 
11. Fold the biscuit over and using the prongs of a fork, press the edges of the dough together to seal it shut.  If you want to, bend the sealed dough into a crescent shape.
12. You can have these very close to each other, so don’t worry about space on your cookie sheet.  Repeat the stuffing and sealing for all the biscuits.
13. Once they are all filled and sealed, put the cookie sheet in the oven and let bake until the dough turns golden brown.
14. Remove from the oven and serve hot.

 This recipe should serve four comfortably.

Fried Burrito

Note: There is an alternative to baking with the biscuit dough.  Take large tortillas and put the filling and cheese inside them like you would for the empanada.  Fold them closed and fry them in a pan of hot oil.  The oil should only come up halfway on the folded tortilla.  When the side in the oil is brown, turn to fry the other side.   Remove, pat dry and serve with salsa of choice.  Mike actually prefers it this way as opposed to the empanada way.

2 lb pork tenderloin
½ cup honey
1 orange
2 cups chopped pecans
2 tbsp crushed black pepper

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 325° F
2. Cut the orange in half and squeeze the juice of half the orange into a small bowl or glass.  Add in the honey and mix until the honey is  fully diluted.
3. Place the tenderloin on a foil lined pan (makes for easier clean up) and crush fresh black pepper liberally across the tenderloin.  Drizzle the honey-orange mix over the top of the tenderloin and place into the oven.
4. Chop the pecans into fairly small pieces.  You want them large enough to keep a slight crunch, but not too large.
5. Slice off small sections of the outer rind of the orange – do not get so deep as to get the white pulp.  You want only the coloured rind.  Slice the sections of rind into very thin strips and then turn.  Cut the strips down to very, very small bits and mix in with the pecans.
6. Remove the tenderloin from the oven and turn over.  Drizzle the honey-orange mixture over the tenderloin and then liberally cover with the pecan-zest mix.  About 1 cup.
7. Place the tenderloin back in the oven and let cook for another 5 minutes.
8. Remove the tenderloin from the oven and turn over.  Drizzle the honey-orange mixture over the tenderloin and then liberally cover with the remaining pecan-zest mix.
9. Place back in the oven and about every 2 minutes, drizzle with the honey-orange mixture.
10. Allow the pork loin to cook like this for another 10 to 20 minutes or until it is cooked through.
11. If so desired, at the last 2 minutes or so, turn on the broiler and broil to brown/crunch the pecans on top.

This will comfortably serve 4 people.  I served it with black-eyed peas and Yorkshire pudding.  The juices in the baking pan thicken nicely with a cornstarch-water mixture to make an excellent gravy.

The pecans add a slight crunch and the orange fully infuses the pork to bring a unique sweet-tart-crunch to this meal.

We ate it too fast for me to get a photo.  I’ll try to remember to snap one the next time I make this.

When I was talking to my son on the way back from LA, on Saturday, a similar conversation came up.  I asked him what he’d like for dinner and you could just see his mind go blank.  He said he’d always had problems about that question.  Apparently, at one point when he was visiting his father, he’d been asked to write up a menu – and, he just flat out couldn’t do it.

I told him, “Well, kiddo, that’s because you are thinking of the entire meal at one go.  Don’t worry about the whole meal.  First things first…When you think of eating tonight, what makes your mouth water?  If you think of chicken?  Fish?  Roast beef?  Something else?”  He responded with what sounded good.

I then came back and asked what kind of things he generally thinks of going with that particular item – and, the next thing you know, we had a full menu for dinner.  I told him, “When you get the first step done, then you take the second step.  But, if you look at it all at once and try to come up with the perfect meal in one go, it is this chaotic and overwhelming thing.  Just one item at a time gets the job done.”

As I was saying this, I couldn’t help but laugh at how very similar the life lesson was between what mi novio’s father had imparted to him and the one I’d just given my son.  I wonder if it will stick?  Regardless, it hit me – particularly given some of the personal issues I’ve been having to face and overcome recently.

Needless to say, when my sister posted on her Facebook status, “Thinking….if you could give one piece of advice to this year’s graduating class….what would you say?”  Well, I had to respond with this bit of wisdom that has been playing such a central theme in my life, right now.

My response was not like most others.  Theirs have been mostly two veins.  Vein one, “Get your secondary education.” Vein two, “Make Christ the center of your life.”  Both very respectable answers.

But…

Here’s the thing – think back (for some of you it’s a bit of a stretch, I know **grins**).  When you stepped out into the world on your own for the first time…wasn’t it a bit overwhelming?  Wondering how your parents ever managed to do it all?  Peers pushing you to not be responsible; but, needing to make sure the bills get paid, the schoolwork gets done, the car gets filled, the cat gets fed, etc…All the things you were able to ignore as a kid is no longer someone else’s problem.  It’s yours.

And, yes, having faith to hold on to is a great and wonderful thing…but, reality is that Christ isn’t going to sit down at your dinner table and make sure the bills get paid on time, that your homework gets done or that your laundry was sorted right so you don’t have grey-ish pink t-shirts to wear until you can afford to buy new ones.

It can be horribly overwhelming – even for those who have been on their own for decades.  How much more so for someone just entering the real world?  Especially a world in such fiscal, emotional and political upheaval?

The key to making it through times like that – times that it just seems like no matter what there is always so much more that needs to be done…times where it looks completely and totally insurmountable – the absolute key is to realize that the only part that matters is what is right here, right now.  The one item right in front of you. The next one will be dealt with when you get to it.  And, the next one and the next one…But, it all winds up being the one that is right in front of you.

This moment in time.  This one moment.  It’s all you can immediately influence. Handle it well.  Influence it to the best of your ability. Let the next moment be what it is when it comes – and, let go of the previous moment when it’s done.  This one moment deserves the very best you can give it.

If you do that, you find that the crazy quilt of your life comes together – one stitch at a time.  One piece at a time.  One block at a time.

Please wait for a Verizon Wireless sales representative to assist you with your order. Thank you for your patience!

A Verizon Wireless online pre-sales specialist has joined the chat. You are now chatting with Cassandra

Cassandra: Hello. Thank you for visiting our chat service.  May I help you with your order today?

Cassandra: I haven’t heard from you in a while.  Would you like to continue chatting?

You: yes

You: I’m not at all happy with having a $9.99 forced onto my account. Please explain why something I do not want is being forced on me?

Cassandra: It is not being forced it is required for all 3G phones.

You: thus forced

You: I do no want to use this feature

You: I want only to txt

Cassandra: Did you just opt to change the plan?

You: yes

You: and it forced the $9.99 fee

Cassandra: No, you could have kept the plan as it was where you were not ” forced” but you opted to continue, correct?

You: no

You: it popped up

You: with only an “ok” – no option to decline was offered

You: and it won’t let me “deselect” the data package

You: hold on – the screen just refreshed with a remove option

You: Add Features Data Package Unlimited with Mobile Email $29.99/month This is a minimum required feature for your device. Remove Features Data Package 25MB with Mobile Email $9.99/month Total change in monthly recurring charges: $20.00/month

You: and then I try to remove it and get forced to either keep the $9.99 or be shoved into a $29.99 feature

You: this is very not cool

You: I have no desire to check email on this phone – ever. I wanted it for the keypad for my amount of txting. Period.

Cassandra: But with the plan you already had you do not have to have the data plan, correct?

You: ….

You: yes I was forced into it with the plan I had

You: and I went ahead and used it. But I’m trying to get down to the minimum possible with unlimited texting ONLY

You: it’s all I care about

You: I hardly use my phone for anything but texting

Cassandra: I am sorry about that.

You: how do I get this removed

You: I do not want this “feature”

Cassandra: You can not it is required. You will have to select a basic phone that does not require it.

You: I see. So because I bought a phone that does what I need it to do

You: you force me into a service i do not want

Cassandra: Not forced.

You: yes dear

You: it is forced

You: you just told me I have to have this service

You: period

You: because I need a phone with a keyboar

You: keyboard

You: you are forcing me to take a service I do not want

Cassandra: We have the Motorola Rival and Samsung intensity that do not require a data plan.

You: please point me to where on the phone features it points out that the data package is required

You: yes

You: for which you will force me to pay $200+ to change

Cassandra: On the phones page when you select the phone it is listed under that. [this was not on the page when I purchased the phone a while back]

You: to drop a feature I do not want

Cassandra: You can not. Sorry.

You: which

You: really

You: means

You: I’d be just as well served

You: to pay the termination fee

Cassandra: Okay.

You: since it’s actually less than the phone you require me to get

You: so

You: y’all really would rather lose a customer than drop a feature that customer does not want to utilize. This is blindingly spectacular business sense

You: how does this make sense?

Cassandra: We have not really lost business since the change has place. [notice this nice little insertion?]

You: thank you for this enlightening conversation. Please be advised that the entire conversation will be posted to my blog for public ellucidation.

You: Thank you

Well, I can unequivocally say they lost a customer today.  It’s either keep paying the $10/mo fee that I don’t want to pay – or pay the FULL price (even though they are forcing me to change phones) for a new phone that I do not want.  The default on the contract is less than the cost of one of those phones and only a couple bucks more than the cost of the other.  That makes a ton of sense.

Instead, it appears I will be switching to MetroPCS or Cricket or something.  Those who were texting me on my cell phone, be aware that the number will soon no longer be valid as I transition.

I finished up the seed block blanket I was working on and gave it to Mike. No photo of the finished project. I’ll try to get one the next time I’m down on Liberty. He absolutely loved the blanket. It’s the perfect size for traveling on the bus or just curling up under. I certainly wouldn’t use it as a afghan; but, it suits the purpose for which it was created. That purpose being a small blanket for tossing over your lap or used while traveling. It’s big enough to cover you in a bus/airplane/car seat without being obnoxious.

There are currently two projects in the works. One is a baby blanket for Paco’s latest addition. I’ve been designing/working on it for forever, it seems – and, it’s slowly coming to a finish. I figure by the time the newborn is a toddler, I should have it finished. Here’s hoping it actually lays flat when I finish – I’m working from the outside in, which is always a challenge. For some reason working outside in has more issues with laying flat than working from the center out.

I had to order more yarn.  I had no idea I’d burn through so much!  I get a feeling this blanket is going to be a lot larger than I anticipated.  Not a problem in the least – but, when you figure I’m working on US 3 / 3.25 mm size needles…well, it does take a bit of time to finish a project.  Especially when you get a bit bored by the repetitive nature of the pattern.  I do enjoy how it is turning out, mistakes and all.  The people receiving it will love it no matter what it looks like; but, it’s nice to be happy with something you are designing and creating yourself.

As there is so much of just a single stitch (knit, knit, knit, knit…yeah), the project can get a bit tedious at times, so I am also working on a pair of twisted rib socks for myself.  They are being knit on a pair of US 1/ 2.25mm needles.  I lost the band to the yarn so I’m not sure exactly what it’s called, though I know it’s a German import.  I love it…except that it splits like crazy!  Ah well, c’est la vie.  I like how it feels knit up; and, will enjoy wearing them after I’m done…and, it serves its purpose of giving me a break from the incessant knit stitch from the baby blanket.

We went out dancing at Swallow’s Inn, last night.  I’d forgotten how much I love that dance floor.  It’s tiny, but a pure joy to dance on.  Mike and I were receiving all sorts of compliments from people.  It was a little disconcerting; but, I do have to admit it’s nice to have your ego stroked like that, sometimes.  I always enjoy listening to the Honky Tonk Kings.  They are a good band that understands the difference between good listening music and good dancing music.  I wish more bands could figure that out.  They had a good number of people up from San Diego to support them, which I thought was wonderful.  Ken even showed up – which was a surprise.  For some reason, I’d believed he wasn’t going to be there.  I always enjoy getting to dance with him.

As for the Honky Tonk Kings…they will always have a special place in my mind/memories.  I originally met them when they played at Swallow’s Inn in August.  They were the group that wound up causing me to start making the drive south to San Diego and the Renegade every weekend. Which is where/how I met Mike.  Lot to be thankful for, there. Amusing that the guy who the first thing I noticed was that he was in my way has wound up being such an intrinsic part of my life.  Isn’t it interesting how life takes its various twists and turns to get you someplace you had no idea you needed/wanted to be?

Speaking of said fellow…I think it’s time I grabbed my knitting and went and curled up with him for a while to watch one of our favorite shows, “How It’s Made“.  And, if it strikes his fancy, maybe I’ll make a London broil with Yorkshire pudding and English peas (or green beans) for dinner.

Chicken Stew

• 1.5 quarts chicken stock
• .5 quarts water
• 1.5-2 pounds oven baked or rotisserie chicken
• 1 teaspoon salt (optional)
• 1 bay leaf
• 4-6 sprigs of parsley finely chopped
• 1 teaspoon coarse ground black pepper
• 1 tbsp lemon juice
• 1 white onion finely chopped
• 4 carrots chopped
• 1 bunch green onions (green parts only – chopped)

Dumplings

• 2 cups all purpose flour
• 1 tbsp backing powder
• 1 teaspoon salt (optional)
• 1 cup whole milk
• 3 tbsp salted butter

Directions

1. Bring the stock and water to a boil in a large pot.  Ensure the stock is not filling more than half the pot or you are going to be overflowing by the time the dumplings are done.  Add the salt, parsley, pepper, bay leaf and veggies.  Let the stew continue to boil while you prepare the chicken.
2. Remove the skin and bones from the chicken and tear the meat into medium/large chunks.  The chicken will start to fall apart in the stock so don’t worry if the pieces are slightly larger than bite size when they hit the stock pot.  Reduce the stew to a simmer and prepare the dumplings.
3. Mix the flour, baking powder and salt together in a glass mixing bowl.  Soften the butter and mix into the dry ingredients slowly.  Slowly mix in the milk until the dough is thick and slightly tacky.  Let the dough sit for 5-10 minutes.
4. Sprinkle flour over the top of the dough and lightly knead it in until the dough doesn’t stick to your hands.  Pull off small sized bits of dough – about the size of a golf ball – and pat flat in the palm of your hands.  Drop the dough in the to stew.  It will sink when first dropped into the stew – don’t worry, it’s supposed to.
5. Use all of the dough – you may have to push the last few dumplings under the others to make sure that they are fully submerged.
6. Let the stew continue to simmer for about 20-30 more minutes.  Cover it while it simmers, occasionally submerging the dumplings and checking on the thickness of the stew.
7. When it reaches the desired thickness, remove from the heat and ladle into bowls.  Serve hot.

This should feed four people comfortably.

He had stopped in Guaymas on his trip here and visited some friends of ours before they splashed.  I sure wish I had been able to join them – we could have sailed off with them and be enjoying a totally different kind of time together than we are right now.  I love having him here – it makes dealing with my job so much easier.  I mean, it’s great to be pulling in a paycheck and all that…but…Qlogic’s really not endearing themselves.  They flat out turned down the option to telecommute because of many reasons that I managed to counter successfully – including one that was “well, we need you near the developers”.  Let’s think on this a moment.  The developers I’m currently working with are in India.  I’m in California.  Pray tell – how is this “near the developer”?  Yeah.  It finally boiled down to the fact that the CEO just won’t go for it.  Add to that the layoff of 25 people, the move of my testing job to India (yeah the same people that I’m currently working with) and my job changing to a glorified admin…And, some of what I need to do is just not in my line of “quality” performance.  I just don’t do it as well as I do other things.  It will be a stretch for me to accomplish the level of quality that I demand from myself.  And, putting forth that kind of effort for a company that doesn’t give a d*mn is really – well, I’m seriously lacking motivation.  Let’s just put it that way.

At least, though, I have Mike here and that makes me have something wonderful to look forward to.  It’s enjoyable to get up in the morning and have coffee and Irish oatmeal (with nectarines and strawberries this morning) while I sit and talk with him.    Doesn’t matter the subject or anything.  I just love having him there with me to talk, debate and sometimes just sit in silence. 

We won’t be out dancing as regularly as I used to go – probably every other weekend instead of every weekend.  Since we went out last weekend, this one will be a stay close to home weekend.  It’s good for saving money and gives us time to curl up with each other.  Much as I love to dance with him – dancing just in general – a quiet weekend at  home is good for the budget and not at all bad for us.

My son is in town for the next couple of weeks so we will be getting to visit.  I am really hoping they get along well.  I think we’ll hop out to see a movie and maybe hit some garage sales, flea market or whatever if there are any around.  Should be a good time and will get us out of the house.

Omly reminded me of my ginger-cinammon cookies the other day and I totally am jonesing to make some, now.  I was planning on making chicken and dumplings this weekend (from scratch) – and I’m thinking some homemade bread and ginger-cinammon cookies might not be too bad to throw into the mix.  Maybe some chocolate and walnut cookies for Mike.  In case y’all haven’t noticed reading my recipes, I don’t do nuts in my food – so they will definitely be his cookies.

Anyway – back to the grind.  One day closer to Mazatlan and Liberty.

Well, take a look…Here is a standard size chart for the US. It’s not guaranteed that this is how all US clothes are designed; but, it’s pretty much spot on for the majority of off the rack items in the US.

The coloured cells are my measurement ranges.  Nuff said? 

It was kinda nice when low rider jeans came into style – though it took me quite a while to adjust to it.  I kept trying (and still find myself doing it sometimes) to tug my jeans up.  I can much more readily buy off the rack items and not have to deal with the scrunching and bunching of the waist with the low riders…but, things are inching back up again.  If you notice the fashions coming out to the mainstream waist lines are slowly coming back to to being **gasp** waist lines.  This does not bode well for my future clothes shopping endeavors in the US.

^{Chart courtesy of About.com}

Anyway, so a while back I started using My Food Diary to track my eating thinking maybe I was eating too much fat or carbs or whatever. And, imagine my shock when I was being griped at not for eating too much sodium or fat or carbs…No, of course not. This is Kittie we are talking about here…when is anything ‘normal’ where I’m concerned? No, instead, it was yelling at me for not breaking 900 calories in a day. you read that correctly. I am a 5′7″ (170.18 cm). At the time that I started using My Food Diary, I was closing in on 165 pounds. This was not making me happy. I couldn’t lose weight no matter what I tried.

I was looking at how few calories I was taking in and how much exercise I was doing and it just made no sense to me. And, then I talked to my friend Kate who has been struggling with her own eating disorder for a while now – and, she is one great source of inspiration. I showed her what my diary was saying and she pointed out that my metabolism had just given up the ghost. My body was in starvation mode and was holding on to every calorie it possibly could.

So – I started paying attention to what I was eating, how often I ate – and making sure I got 1200 calories a day. I entered every activity I did, every food I ate…This last week, I have managed to lose 3 pounds and one inch from my hips. I am down to 143 pounds and am making progress toward my goal of 130 pounds.

It is difficult. People make the comment that they wish they had my problem. Really, you don’t. I have to eat more than I am comfortable with in order to LOSE weight. If I exercise, like I did last night doing my yoga, I have to enter the exercise and make sure it doesn’t drop me too low on my calorie table. I had to make and eat a sandwich late last night to make up for the 400 calories I had just burned off.

So why work out? Because I want to be in shape, not just lose weight. And, to be in shape, I have to exercise. Thus, I have to eat even more.

The question burning in my mind, though…the one that echos in times of my greatest frustration is – Am I alone in this? Surely there are others out there who have the same trouble I do.

If you read this, I’d really appreciate if you’d share the link to this post with others and encourage them to pass it on – and comment. I’d really like to know if I am alone in this…or, if there are others out there.

Between lack of communication and lack of dating – well, how is a relationship supposed to thrive? You need the communication – lots and lots of people already know this and they focus on it. Even to the point of having a mantra that says “communicate, communicate, communicate”. And, communication is all well and good. It’s certainly a key ingredient in a healthy and long lasting relationship. Trust, honesty, communication…love…all necessities. Absolutely. I don’t disagree in the least. But, in addition to that, you have to feed the spark that makes that relationship thrive. I think at one point I listed trust as the cornerstone, communication the foundation and love the actual building itself. Yet, that is just the framework…what makes it home? What makes it a place you desire to come back to time and again? A place that fills you with joy and peace and happiness? What makes you “in love” with it? You have to take time to make it home.

I keep hearing “well, the kids come first”. You know, that’s so sad. Oh, dear Lord, I can hear the squealing all the way over here. Seriously, stop for a moment. Calm down and let’s get rational. I grew up knowing I was not THE most important thing in my parents lives. My mother was the most important thing to my father – and, vice versa. Let me tell you something, there is no more wonderful thing for a child to know than that their parents are crazy in love with each other. Oh, Julia and I were right on Mom’s coattails – it’s not like we were way down the list or that we didn’t matter. I don’t think Julia ever felt less because she knew Mom came first. I know I never did. As a matter of fact, the solidarity of my parents, the love they shared, the passion for each other, the romance they worked so hard to keep alive…all of that was a recipe for a family unit of which I think the world could use many more.

Oh, I’m a horrible failure at relationships. I freely acknowledge I’ve chosen some real winners…and, the few who actually were good guys – well, I managed to screw those up all on my own quite handily. Yet, with every screw up. With every knock down and set back…I learned. I grew. I dusted myself off, notated my mistake, and figured out how to avoid the same one in the future. I can honestly say that I’ve never had the same mistake twice. That’s a good thing. It’s also helped me to be able to understand where people are coming from in ways I never would have been able to if I had stepped right into a solid relationship like my sister has. Don’t get me wrong – I envy my sister sometimes. Marrying her highschool sweetheart, having a great marriage (which has taken a lot of hard work on their part) and not having to go through the pain and weariness that I have experienced. At the same time, I can’t say I’d do anything different because it’s brought me to where I am – and, where I am allows me to be there for my friends and others in a way I could not have been able to do otherwise.

What’s that have to do with anything? Well, I’m not writing this as an expert on what works. I’m writing it as an expert on what doesn’t work – and, an observer on what does. My parents were seriously on to something when they told me and my sister to never, ever stop dating. These are parents who understood that one of the most precious gifts we can give our children is a home where the parents love, admire, respect and are passionately in love with each other – where their partner comes first because it is the healthiest thing for the family…and, they love their children enough to know that a secure home, a loving home, a home in one accord is the most nurturing thing a parental unit can provide. Regardless of income, regardless of the clothes they wear, regardless of the gadgets and anything else…to have a solid, firm foundation to run to – a core that is solid and united…it’s a priceless gift that I wish we could all give to our children.

I am blessed enough that my son is a beautiful soul and he and I have a great love for each other. He’s the most precious thing in my life – the best thing I’ve ever done with my life…and, he knows I feel that way. We have had some tough times because of poor decisions on my part, and miscommunication between us. But, over the years, we have found a way to overcome. My sister, on the other hand, has been a beacon of hope to me that parents and families do stand a chance of giving that wonderful gift to their kids.

My friends that I’ve been talking to lately…well, I hope they realize soon, what they are taking away from not only themselves, but their children. If they continue to focus on their children at the expense of their partners (and they are good relationships, and good people)…their relationships are going to die…and one of the things those children count on and rely on and are so drawn to (not all are actually their children, but some neighborhood kids that need a loving place to come)…that precious core that draws those children to it like bees to honey is going to disentigrate. And everyone will be the poorer for it.

I’m not saying that they should be putting each other in a place that neglects the children or their needs. I hope those reading this see that what I am saying is that you have to foster a healthy relationship with your partner if you want your children to have a healthy home. For those of us who are bringing in a partner after the children are here – it’s a much slower process. But, once that person is the partner you choose to share your life with…they need to be number one on your list (within reason – we aren’t talking extremes here). They need to be someone you form a solid, supportive core around which the rest of the world exists. A core that draws people to you and makes them say, “Dude, I want some of that.”

I would set my parents out as an example of a heck of a lot of hard work and effort at perfecting that line to walk of putting your partner first and yet never neglecting your kids or making them feel anything less than the precious gift they are. My folks would say that a lot of it is due to God’s grace as well – but, I know it couldn’t have been done without a heck of a lot of effort on their part. They don’t just “do stuff” together – though they do. They take the time to “date”. They take the time to remind each other how precious and wonderful and blessed they feel to be a part of each others’ lives.

I wish each and every one of my friends the joy of that. The peace that comes to their children when the kids see their parents with the person they love and are in love with – and, can almost physically feel the love and admiration their parents feel for each other just by being around them. The joy and happiness that comes when they find a partner who is willing to work hard to keep that little building with the cornerstone of trust and the foundation of communication – that home that love built – shining bright and warm with the passion and romance of a lifetime…no matter what storms may rage in the world outside.