Schrodinger's Kittie

So we went to the KASE 101 Concert for the Cure last night; and, I have to say I was sorely disappointed. The artists were Eli Young Band and Kristy Lee Cook. Kristy Lee Cook opened the show with a small number of songs, accompanied by a single guitar player. She wasn’t bad at all. As a matter of fact, I would have been much happier with the night had she been the sole performer.

Eli Young Band came on later and…well, part of it was technical difficulties (the lead singer’s ear piece busted out and…wow…his voice went all over the place)…but, even after the difficulties were rectified. Well…as one of the men I was standing near said, “Another band that couldn’t make it in rock-n-roll and moved to country.” The disappointing thing is that they have a really, really good song out (the only one of theirs I had heard). But it’s like the single nugget of gold amongst a pile of pyrite.

I’m not upset at the cost of the tickets – we were going to support the search for the cure to breast cancer. Which – please take note – does NOT just affect women. Roughly 13% of those diagnosed with breast cancer are men. This was important to us, and the cause worth while, so the expense was readily accepted. My disappointment stems solely from the unexpected let down from Eli Young Band.

Ah well, cest la vie, yes?

Interestingly for nearly the first hour and a half of the night, we were the only two dancing. It took about one turn around the floor before I settled in and realized it was really no different than any other night – we always get watched even on a crowded dance floor. The only thing was – this time we didn’t have to worry about other people (dodging them or them slamming into us). It was pretty great as soon as I realized that, and I wound up having a lot of fun.

That is, until Eli Young Band came on. We left not long after that. Let’s put it this way – it was 11:15pm when we left the club. Yeah….

So…on the way home, I figured out exactly how long it had been since I’ve been on the dance floor. Ready for this? Yeah, I wasn’t…

Fourteen years.

This from a woman who used to dance at least 4 hours near non-stop every night of the week.

Ironically, tonight started out with a reason I would typically have crawled into bed – a massive headache in the works. But, for some reason, I was restless. I decided to head out to Graham Central Station – way the heck up north – and see what was what up there. At the very least listen to some music for a bit and force myself to be out in a social environment.

I’ve become way too much of a hermit the last few years.

(more…)

The last several months I’ve been dealing with a deep exhaustion. Not a phyiscal exhaustion, understand. It’s more like an exhaustion of the soul. This weariness that permeates you so deeply and completely it’s like that’s all you are. Walking exhaustion. Every ounce of life or vitality just gone from your being.

Some of you know one of my deep, dark secrets is my proclivity for listening to country music. Oh, hush.

Anyway, I was listening to KASE 101 on my way home, yesterday, and heard a song that I’ve heard a few times before – but this time it kinda really struck me…I’m not sure why it hit so hard – ok, I am, but I don’t feel like going into it. However, I did want to share…

Moments
_{by:Emerson Drive}

_{I was coming to the end of a long long walk
When a man crawled out of a cardboard box
Under the E. Street Bridge
Followed me on to it
I went out halfway across
With that homeless shadow tagging along
So I dug for some change
Wouldn’t need it anyway
He took it lookin’ just a bit ashamed
He said, You know, I haven’t always been this way}

I’ve had my moments, days in the sun
Moments I was second to none
Moments when I knew I did what I thought I couldn’t do
Like that plane ride coming home from the war
That summer my son was born
And memories like a coat so warm
A cold wind can’t get through
Lookin’ at me now you might not know it
But I’ve had my moments

I stood there tryin’ to find my nerve
Wondering if a single soul on Earth
Would care at all
Miss me when I’m gone
That old man just kept hanging around
Lookin’ at me, lookin’ down
I think he recognized
That look in my eyes
Standing with him there I felt ashamed
I said, You know, I haven’t always been this way

I’ve had my moments, days in the sun
Moments I was second to none
Moments when I knew I did what I thought I couldn’t do
Like the day I walked away from the wine
For a woman who became my wife
And a love that, when it was right,
Could always see me through
Lookin’ at me now you might not know it
But I’ve had my moments

I know somewhere ’round a trash can fire tonight
That old man tells his story one more time
He says

I’ve had my moments, days in the sun
Moments I was second to none
Moments when I knew I did what I thought I couldn’t do
Like that cool night on the E. Street Bridge
When a young man almost ended it
I was right there, wasn’t scared a bit
And I helped to pull him through
Lookin’ at me now you might not know it
Oh, lookin’ at me now you might not know it
But I’ve had my moments