Schrodinger's Kittie

Here is a delightful chat I just had with Verizon customer ‘support’.  I wanted to drop down to the bare minimum in voice since I rarely talk on the phone, keep my unlimited texting and drop the data package they had originally forced on me when I got my phone (I wanted the QWERTY keyboard).  Seems like a simple enough request, right?  Oh, how wrong we are:

Please wait for a Verizon Wireless sales representative to assist you with your order. Thank you for your patience!

A Verizon Wireless online pre-sales specialist has joined the chat. You are now chatting with Cassandra

Cassandra: Hello. Thank you for visiting our chat service.  May I help you with your order today?

Cassandra: I haven’t heard from you in a while.  Would you like to continue chatting?

You: yes

You: I’m not at all happy with having a $9.99 forced onto my account. Please explain why something I do not want is being forced on me?

Cassandra: It is not being forced it is required for all 3G phones.

You: thus forced

You: I do no want to use this feature

You: I want only to txt

Cassandra: Did you just opt to change the plan?

You: yes

You: and it forced the $9.99 fee

Cassandra: No, you could have kept the plan as it was where you were not ” forced” but you opted to continue, correct?

You: no

You: it popped up

You: with only an “ok” – no option to decline was offered

You: and it won’t let me “deselect” the data package

You: hold on – the screen just refreshed with a remove option

You: Add Features Data Package Unlimited with Mobile Email $29.99/month This is a minimum required feature for your device. Remove Features Data Package 25MB with Mobile Email $9.99/month Total change in monthly recurring charges: $20.00/month

You: and then I try to remove it and get forced to either keep the $9.99 or be shoved into a $29.99 feature

You: this is very not cool

You: I have no desire to check email on this phone – ever. I wanted it for the keypad for my amount of txting. Period.

Cassandra: But with the plan you already had you do not have to have the data plan, correct?

You: ….

You: yes I was forced into it with the plan I had

You: and I went ahead and used it. But I’m trying to get down to the minimum possible with unlimited texting ONLY

You: it’s all I care about

You: I hardly use my phone for anything but texting

Cassandra: I am sorry about that.

You: how do I get this removed

You: I do not want this “feature”

Cassandra: You can not it is required. You will have to select a basic phone that does not require it.

You: I see. So because I bought a phone that does what I need it to do

You: you force me into a service i do not want

Cassandra: Not forced.

You: yes dear

You: it is forced

You: you just told me I have to have this service

You: period

You: because I need a phone with a keyboar

You: keyboard

You: you are forcing me to take a service I do not want

Cassandra: We have the Motorola Rival and Samsung intensity that do not require a data plan.

You: please point me to where on the phone features it points out that the data package is required

You: yes

You: for which you will force me to pay $200+ to change

Cassandra: On the phones page when you select the phone it is listed under that. [this was not on the page when I purchased the phone a while back]

You: to drop a feature I do not want

Cassandra: You can not. Sorry.

You: which

You: really

You: means

You: I’d be just as well served

You: to pay the termination fee

Cassandra: Okay.

You: since it’s actually less than the phone you require me to get

You: so

You: y’all really would rather lose a customer than drop a feature that customer does not want to utilize. This is blindingly spectacular business sense

You: how does this make sense?

Cassandra: We have not really lost business since the change has place. [notice this nice little insertion?]

You: thank you for this enlightening conversation. Please be advised that the entire conversation will be posted to my blog for public ellucidation.

You: Thank you

Well, I can unequivocally say they lost a customer today.  It’s either keep paying the $10/mo fee that I don’t want to pay – or pay the FULL price (even though they are forcing me to change phones) for a new phone that I do not want.  The default on the contract is less than the cost of one of those phones and only a couple bucks more than the cost of the other.  That makes a ton of sense.

Instead, it appears I will be switching to MetroPCS or Cricket or something.  Those who were texting me on my cell phone, be aware that the number will soon no longer be valid as I transition.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010 at 11:42 am and is filed under Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.